Prayer Request Update!

Wow. Just WOW.

Caleb's mom had this to say on Facebook at 11:00 last night:

It's just CONFIRMED BY MRI..THEY GOT IT ALL, THE TUMOR'S ALL GONE!!!! bye bye, zip, zero, nada, nothing left...THANK YOU JESUS, PRAISE HIM!!! the doctor's & nurses are all amazed & don't quite know what to do with us...Caleb is walking, talking, eating, moving all of his extremities and his smile is wonderful! Now we wait for more pathology & oncology to plan our next steps and wait on Jesus to tell them. :)

I just received this update via email from someone who had just spoken to Caleb's dad:

Caleb is on his way home from the hospital! He had an MRI today to make sure all the tumor was gone and it confirmed that it was all taken out by the second surgery. He continues to be able to move everything. Caleb recovered from surgery much quicker than normal. He was eating within hours of the surgery and has experienced minimal pain. In the days to come they will be doing pathology on the tissue that was taken out and determining future treatment, but regardless of the results, a positive outcome is expected.

They hadn't even expected to release him until Sunday. Unbelievable!!

Thank you, Jesus, for the doctors at CHOP, the amazing strength you have given to Caleb and his family, and answering the prayers of all of us.

Prayer works, people. God. Is. LOVE.

To rejoin or not to rejoin, that is the question.

My weight has been a constant battle for me, probably since middle school. I've lost, regained, re-lost, and regained over and over again. Every time I regain the pounds, they bring their friends along and I end up weighing more than I did when I started.

The most I've ever lost was in 1999/2000. My friend was getting married, and I was one of the maids of honor. One night in June (1999) she and I went to look at bridesmaid dresses, along with a few of the other attendants. I was a size 26. The other girls ranged from sizes 2 through 8. It was ok until I came out of the dressing room and looked at myself in the mirror. For the rest of the time we were in the bridal shop, I bit back tears. When I got finally home, I just sobbed.

The next day, I joined Weight Watchers. I was so motivated and so disciplined that I lost 8 1/2 pounds in the first week. By the time Michelle's wedding came around I had lost 62 pounds. My dress was so big on me they had to take it apart and practically rebuild it. It was WONDERFUL.

Me & Michelle, June 2000
(not the rebuilt dress, but you get the idea)

Me & my brother, Christmas 2000

I kept the weight off for a little while, but over time, with help from various factors, it all came creeping back. And, as usual, it's brought friends. Today I weigh about 25 pounds more than I did the day I'd joined Weight Watchers in 1999.

Larry, Lucas & me, October 2008

I've tried to lose weight again several times since, but never with the same resolve that I'd had back then.  I've struggled with not caring, then "I am the way God made me; God doesn't make mistakes" and now... "I should be taking better care of the body God gave me." Someone else recently put it this way - she doesn't feel she can do God's work if she isn't taking care of her body (I'm paraphrasing - I didn't write it down at the time).

Those last two statements are the ones I'm dwelling on now. I should be taking better care of the body God gave me. I'm not going to be able to do His work if my knees and back are causing me so much pain. This was very evident to me one night recently when I was serving at church and I'd needed to get up and down from the floor four or five times. How am I going to teach small children (or play with my own) if I can't move?? At 36, this should not be the enormous struggle that it is.

This realization should be enough to motivate me, right? Apparently not. I know HOW to lose weight. I know WHAT to do. So WHY don't I do it?

This has been weighing so heavily (no pun intended, but it sure fits) on my mind lately. I hate the way I feel. I see my reflection in a glass door and I hate the way I look. I see my face in my car window and think I look fat and angry. I am fat. And I am angry. I'm angry at myself, for not fixing this.  I'm angry at myself for letting it get this bad in the first place.  BUT... in church right now we're talking about change, and how we can't change ourselves but follow God and let Him make the changes within us.  (I hope I'm getting that right... anyone??)

I debate about joining Weight Watchers again. It has to be the online version, because I don't have time for meetings (I'm in school 3 nights a week) and meetings cost so much more. I do this bit in my head: "I don't want to spend the money. I don't want to track every little thing I eat. I don't want to be limited." Then again, I don't want to go to work every day, but I do it because I have to.

So the question remains... do I rejoin, or do I not? Why is it such a difficult decision?  Am I trying to change myself, or is this inner battle I seem to be having right now God's way of making the changes in me?  And if that's the case... why am I resisting Him?

Great God

Four days ago I started a post updating my woeful Wednesday with a fretful Friday.

• How we didn't have Lucas for the weekend because he didn't want to leave his mom and wouldn't stay in his car seat (Buckle guard?? HA! I'll just climb out of the belt!). Larry finally had to just leave him there, since he can't very well drive 20+ miles with the boy not in a safety restraint. Sigh.
  
• How my car didn't start Thursday night even though it started immediately after getting a new battery Thursday morning. My husband was still chauffeuring me. Oh, and then his car sucked up $270 for new rotors. Did I mention how we have one income (plus a teensy bit of unemployment compensation) right now?
• How, more importantly, my friend T was still in the ICU, on a ventilator, in "grave condition".

I never finished the post. Just didn't get back to it. But TODAY... Oh, do I have wonderful news to report. 

Last night, much to the shock of her daughters, T came off the ventilator. PRAISE GOD!!!

Just a little while ago I had an email from T's younger daughter, saying they had much to be thankful for. Three days ago the doctors put T's chance of recovery at less than 50%. Yesterday the doctors took her off the ventilator and dialysis, and she was able to quietly speak to her family for the first time in over a week. She's still on oxygen, and there's a long, hard recovery ahead, but she is breathing on her own. 

So this Thanksgiving, T's daughters have so much extra to be thankful for. And I am so thankful for our church family, the many people who prayed their hearts out that T be healed, and God, who heard us calling.

Oh, and my car has run fine since Friday. Just like that.

That's faith, folks. Pure and simple.

God is good.

Woeful Wednesday: Prayers & Praise

Things I am struggling with this week:

• A friend of mine from church (we'll call her "T"), is in the hospital. She was taken in by ambulance on Saturday night due to Type A Flu, and Diabetic Acidosis. When I received word on Monday she was on a ventilator. Yesterday I found out she also has pneumonia, and her kidneys were not functioning. Last night the doctors in the Intensive Care Unit placed her in a drug-induced coma so her body can rest while they try to treat her. T is 41 and has three children - a son (21), and two daughters (17 and 18). Her older daughter is pregnant and due in about six weeks. Lord, please heal T... her family needs her.

• My car wouldn't start this morning. For the last year or so it has groaned a little when starting in cold weather, and it has gotten cold here in the last few days. With our current income situation, we can't afford a big repair. I've already been a little on edge because inspection is due this month. So my husband drove me to school this morning, then picked me up and brought me to work. He and our neighbor will be trying to jump-start my car this afternoon. I just pray all it needs is a battery...

• We have Lucas this weekend. Bedtime scares me.

Things I am thankful for today:

• Our church family, who is praying for T and her family, and helping out with meals and cleaning.

• Good neighbors. After Hector and my husband took an initial look at my car, Hector fixed our piece of rain spouting that's been swaying in the wind. Hector is a contractor, and also installed our new kitchen light, and is going to help us fix up our window frames and eventually put laminate flooring down in our living and dining rooms. Hector and family, you rock!!

• Good health. It can be fragile. Protect it. (Now if only I could take my own advice...)

• Good friends. Other moms who are there to give advice and support whenever you need it.
  

• My husband, who is chauffeuring me today without complaint. Also, he brought me ice cream last night. :o)
  

• The grace of God, who gets us through, even when we think it's impossible. Who forgives us when we stumble, and we stumble a lot. Thank you.

Things to remember today, this week, and always:

• "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." - Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
  

• "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

I Will Praise You in This Storm (song by Casting Crowns)