Smilebox: Our First Christmas

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Chameleon Christmas Theater

A short video of my brother's chameleon. :o)

Our Christmas So Far

It was a wonderful, tear-free weekend. I don't really have time to write a decent post right now, but I wanted to share a slideshow of our Christmas so far.

Feels like Christmas came early!

It has been a WONDERFUL day!

My husband started his new job this morning. It's part time, but it's work!

We got a new Christmas tree! I haven't put up a tree in about eight years, maybe more. Since it's our first Christmas together, and my first Christmas having a child in the house, we decided we should have a tree. So Larry got my old tree down from the attic yesterday, and last night we were going to assemble it so it would be ready to decorate with Lucas on Saturday. Opened the box - no stand. Missing. Now what? I was completely bummed.

So this evening I happened to stop in Linens 'n Things to see if they had any griddles left, since the store is closing soon. Well... just inside the door they had 7.5' pre-lit trees. They were originally $200, marked down 80% to $40. Had to get it. HAD TO. Never did go look for that griddle...

No tears at bedtime tonight!! Larry and I had a class at church tonight, so his mom babysat Lucas for us. We got home about 9:30 and he was still awake, of course, waiting for Daddy. So Larry went up and gave him a hug and a kiss, turned on his music for him, and got out of there before tears could start. And they never did. Nanny's babysitting again tomorrow night while we're at my office Christmas party. Wouldn't it be nice to have a repeat performance??

Just after 10:00 tonight I received an email from T's younger daughter. T is being moved to a rehabilitation center tomorrow, and T's older daughter may be having her baby by Christmas. What a fabulous couple of Christmas gifts for all of them!

I'd like to leave you with one final thought. With our current financial/job situation, we haven't been able to buy gifts for many people this year. In fact, I think Lucas is the only one we shopped for, and that includes not getting gifts for each other even though this is our first Christmas as a married couple. At first, this really bothered me - I love giving gifts at Christmas. But in a way it's been sort of liberating, and has allowed us to focus more on what the season is really about: Jesus. It's allowed us to take a step back and focus on how blessed we truly are. A friend of mine showed me this video a week or two ago, and I was really moved by it. It just fits so well with how I've been feeling, and so I wanted to share it here too.

In case I don't write again before... Merry Christmas, and may God bless you and your families!

Priceless

Bag I wish I could buy at Fossil in NYC: $128.00



















Lunch for three at Cafe Metro: $47.00















The look on my face when Mom says we need a wide-angle lens: Priceless

Counting My Blessings

1. My husband amazes me. He loves me just as I am, makes me laugh every day, and is incredibly helpful around the house. If it weren't for the financial aspect, I could totally get used to him being at home. He does all the cleaning I hate to do!
2. Speaking of my husband... he found a job yesterday! It's only part time, but lots of people are having to take part time work right now because there's such a shortage of full time jobs. It's not enough to solve all our problems, but it'll do for now, and we're grateful for it.
3. Fall semester is almost over and I'm soooo ready for Winter break. Finals tomorrow and Friday, then I'm off til mid-January!
4. I have a job that pays well. I've been here for almost 11 years and I'm ready to move on (graduation can't get here fast enough), but in these hard economic times, when so many are out of work, I'm grateful to be employed.
5. I have great parents, stepparents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom I love very much, even if I don't call or visit often enough.
6. I have wonderful friends who have been there for me over so many years, and through so much junk, and love me even through my little quirks and scattered nature.
   
7. I am thankful that T is still with us. She is still in the ICU, had a trach tube inserted today to continue helping her breathe, and unfortunately had her right leg amputated a few inches below the knee today as well. But she is alive and we all love her and miss her and will continue to pray for her recovery.
8. I am thankful that my stepson is happy and healthy, and that we're making progress with the bedtime battles, even if it is just baby steps.
9. I am thankful for Facebook. Sound weird? I've reconnected with so many people through there and found an additional support system of other women - other moms - who can share their experiences and advice.
10. I am thankful that we have a home... a warm place and a roof over our heads. Not everyone has a place to sleep tonight.
11. I am thankful for my church and the wonderful people in it.
12. I am thankful for God, who loves me, forgives me, and amazes me more every day.

LCBC Worship - King of Heaven from Matt Goss on Vimeo.

Great God

Four days ago I started a post updating my woeful Wednesday with a fretful Friday.

• How we didn't have Lucas for the weekend because he didn't want to leave his mom and wouldn't stay in his car seat (Buckle guard?? HA! I'll just climb out of the belt!). Larry finally had to just leave him there, since he can't very well drive 20+ miles with the boy not in a safety restraint. Sigh.
  
• How my car didn't start Thursday night even though it started immediately after getting a new battery Thursday morning. My husband was still chauffeuring me. Oh, and then his car sucked up $270 for new rotors. Did I mention how we have one income (plus a teensy bit of unemployment compensation) right now?
• How, more importantly, my friend T was still in the ICU, on a ventilator, in "grave condition".

I never finished the post. Just didn't get back to it. But TODAY... Oh, do I have wonderful news to report. 

Last night, much to the shock of her daughters, T came off the ventilator. PRAISE GOD!!!

Just a little while ago I had an email from T's younger daughter, saying they had much to be thankful for. Three days ago the doctors put T's chance of recovery at less than 50%. Yesterday the doctors took her off the ventilator and dialysis, and she was able to quietly speak to her family for the first time in over a week. She's still on oxygen, and there's a long, hard recovery ahead, but she is breathing on her own. 

So this Thanksgiving, T's daughters have so much extra to be thankful for. And I am so thankful for our church family, the many people who prayed their hearts out that T be healed, and God, who heard us calling.

Oh, and my car has run fine since Friday. Just like that.

That's faith, folks. Pure and simple.

God is good.

Blue Wednesday

Once in a while, even though I have Jesus and Prozac, I still have one of those days where I just feel kind of down. Today is one of those days. Now that I think of it, yesterday was one of those days too.

Yesterday I think I would have given anything to just stay home with my husband, even though my husband is only home because he's still out of work. I ran out of vacation time in September, mostly because of school projects in the Spring that I had to take time off for. I really look forward to having options again on days like that.

Today... I think it's a combination of things. I'm tired. The holidays are coming. Christmas is coming and we only have one income. This isn't the best semester I've had.

I met with my adviser at school this morning and it hit me just a little harder that, in just over a year, I'll have to quit my job (yay!) and finish my last two semesters of school - professional block, then student teaching. Normally thinking about that makes me happy. So we're back to the one-income issue. I guess I'm scared to death that Larry won't find something that supports us well enough in that last year of school. I'm afraid something will happen (or WON'T happen) that keeps me from graduating.

And we have Lucas tonight. Thinking about the recent bedtime drama makes me dread going home, for fear of what tonight's bedtime might bring. So, again, I pray for peace...

My Faith Story, Part I

I was raised Catholic. It seems like a lot of people's stories start out that way, doesn't it? I never liked going to church - it bored me. After I graduated from high school I got married at 19. We had a Catholic wedding, and every Sunday we went to church with his parents. It still bored me. We separated after 2 1/2 years of marriage and our divorce was final just a few days after our 3rd anniversary.

Shortly before my 24th birthday I was married for the 2nd time. We didn't go to church. Somewhere along the line I'd become uncertain that I even believed in God. My husband wasn't much of a believer either. Two years later, we separated and divorced. I was 26. It's not a period of my life I'm particularly proud of.

Sometime during my first marriage I'd begun to suffer from depression. From that time through the middle of 2002, I was taking prescription anti-depressants, and occasionally saw a therapist. I had no interest in going to church, but found the subjects of various religions interesting. I found myself especially interested in Paganism, and Wicca, but never quite interested or motivated enough to try to put anything into practice. I was even engaged again during that time, but realized it wouldn't work and broke off the engagement before we got married.

In late Winter/early Spring 2005, the depression came creeping back. In mid-June of that year I hit an all-time low. I would come home from work, go to bed, and sob. I wanted to die. I would be driving to or from my job and just envision myself slamming my foot on the gas pedal and speeding into a bridge or a pole. I was sure that death had to be easier than living.

Fortunately, I loved my family far too much to act on those thoughts. They never knew (until now, if anyone reads this) that things had gotten quite that bad. I realized I needed to go back on the anti-depressants.

During that time, my mother and my grandmother kept encouraging me to pray. What they didn't know is that I'd already started. I felt like I didn't know how, like I couldn't remember. Growing up in the Catholic church, I wasn't accustomed to just talking to God. We always had certain prayers we prayed, but I'd never just tried having a conversation with God. I decided to start looking for a church I could go to.

I knew I didn't want to go back to the Catholic church - it felt like there were too many rules, too many rituals. A few years earlier I'd visited a church or two, but just didn't feel comfortable. I tried another, but it just didn't seem much different from what I'd experienced in the past. A friend of mine suggested I try Lancaster County Bible Church (now LCBC - Lives Changed By Christ). She'd never been there herself, but she drove past it every day going to and from work and knew there was always something going on there. A short time later, another friend suggested I check it out, though she had never been there either. I decided to give it a try.

On October 30, 2005, I decided to check out a Sunday morning service. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew the place was huge, and I thought it seemed pretty intimidating. I thoroughly expected to hate it. I was caught completely by surprise.

It had taken me a while to figure out what to wear that morning, but one of the first things I noticed was that most people were wearing jeans. The auditorium was huge, and I found a seat in the upper level, where I could see everything and hopefully not be noticed.

There was a stage, not an alter, and it was set for a band rather than the organ or piano I had grown up hearing in church. Then the worship band started to play, and I was shocked to feel tears rolling down my cheeks. And it wasn't a hymn they were playing - it was a song you might hear on the radio. It might have been something by Switchfoot, though I don't remember anymore. David Ashcraft, the senior pastor, wasn't speaking that day, but Keith Walker was doing the sermon. He was wearing jeans and a shirt that wasn't tucked in and he was funny. I was laughing in church. After the service I walked around the atrium for a few minutes, checking things out. Instead of being intimidated by the size, I blended into the crowd. Nobody noticed that I had never been there before.

When I left LCBC that day, I felt better than I had in six months. I wasn't just feeling a little less depressed - I was actually happy. And I couldn't wait to go back.

To be continued...